A Look at the Effect that Birth Order has on Personality and Success

The oldest child is the leader. The middle is the competitive one. The youngest is the “baby.” The only child is spoiled rotten. These are the stereotypes that are woven into society and play a small, but important part of everyday life.

Birth order is something that has been studied by psychologists and therapists for decades; it’s something that has always affected people. Now, there are studies showing that birth order affects personalities and the overall way someone thinks and behaves. Birth order is arguably one of the most important things to alter the way we look at society, parents, and even love.

Dr. Frank Sulloway of Berkeley, the author of Born to Rebel: Birth Order, Family Dynamics and Creative Lives has done extensive research about birth order and the effect it has on people’s tendencies and personalities. Dr. Sulloway has studied many different aspects of birth order and what it actually does to change a person.

“Birth order has only a modest influence on personality,” Dr. Sulloway said. “The fact is that any single thing you can point to, gender, social class, family size, and even individual genes. Most of them have only a modest influence.”

Birth order can be broken down into a general group of three; the oldest, the middle, and the last. There are different traits that are commonly associated with each place in a birth order that have somewhat become a stereotype in our society today. The eldest is supposed to be dominant and watch over their younger siblings. In contrast, the youngest is the “baby” and is such treated like one in most circumstances. Then, there are the middle kids––the ones that say they don’t get as much attention. According to Dr. Sulloway, there is validity in that often-overlooked statement.

“The middle child is never alone,” said Dr. Sulloway. “The middle child has less cumulative hours of parental benefits, because it’s always being diluted by the presence of other siblings.”

Sophomore Rae Ehly is one of these middle children. Sandwiched between two boys, Hank, 19, and Luke,13, she is the only girl of the family, and enjoys that spot. She, like many others, has the opportunity to be influenced by an older brother, but also influence on her younger brother.

“Lucky me,” Rae said. “I’m in the middle, I have somebody to look up to, and somebody to influence.”

According to Dr. Sulloway, influencing a younger sibling is what comes naturally to an elder. It’s something that just happens by nature, even if they don’t necessarily mean to. Older siblings, like parents, set an example, good or bad, for the family members to follow.

“Younger siblings often copy or imitate what their older siblings are doing,” Dr. Sulloway said. “For example, there’s evidence that if an older sibling smokes, then a younger sibling is more apt to smoking, at an even younger age than their older sibling.”

Being a middle child isn’t something that everyone experiences. Older siblings often also have their own set of issues and advantages. Junior Erin Reynolds comes from a family of eight kids, where she is third in the line up. With six sisters and one brother, she knows the effects of family size and birth order, on a large scale.

“Being in a big family definitely makes me more independent,” Erin said. “My parents taught us to be hardworking and independent, because there were so many of us.”

Older children are generally characterized with a more dominant personality, and often are the leaders of the siblings. The first born child in a family tends to be more of conscious, organized, self-determined, and does better in school according to Dr. Sulloway’s article in The Evolution of Personality and Differences.

“If you’re the eldest, you’re the oldest, you have more power,” Dr. Sulloway said. “You tend to have a closer relationship to your parents, and can do things your younger siblings can’t.”

Being a firstborn doesn’t necessarily indicate that you are going to be strong or dominant. Because of the fact that birth order only has a little influence on personality, not every oldest child is a leader. Genetic makeup, environment, and experiences all help to create a personality not just where you happen to fall in the birth order.

“Firstborns tend to be more dominant than their younger siblings on average, but there are a lot of firstborns that have a genetic propensity to be shy and timid,” said Dr. Sulloway.

Without the youngest child, or “baby,” there wouldn’t be an eldest or middle child. Being the youngest child in the family has its own sets of challenges and issues. Some feel that they always have to live up to their older siblings––maybe they’re always being compared to what their older brother or sister has already accomplished.

The last-born in a family is generally a calmer more fun-loving person than an older child, potentially because they don’t have the responsibility or pressure put on them from their parents like older siblings do.

Max Hofmeister, younger brother to Natalie, 20, and senior Emily, 18, he’s the youngest, but doesn’t really think he is affected by his place in the birth order. According to Max, it’s more difficult to be better and stronger than them, or live up to their responsibilities. He tries to overcome his sister’s shadows in school and in other activities.

“A teacher had my sister in class, and she did really well there––then they expect me to do as good, if not better,” Max said.

According to Erin, the youngest kids in the Reynolds family are also compared to the older ones, and didn’t get to live the same childhood their elder siblings. They were so much younger at the time, and therefore didn’t get to do all of the childhood activities she older ones got to do.

“They didn’t get to experience our childhood,” Erin said. “As we got older, they just did what the older kids did. They didn’t really get to do the goofy younger kid thing.”

Parents also have an influence on their child’s personality, which is correlated to birth order. For instance, an older child has their first years with just their parents, and become the center of their parents’ world. Along with this, the middle children always have someone around to take some of their attention. Last, the baby of the family will have those years at the end when the others have left the home and it’s just them left at home with their parents.

In one of Dr. Sulloway’s studies in 2001, he found that a sibling who received less attention from a parent was more likely to rebel and stray away from what a parent may have had planned for their child. On the other hand, a child who may have received more attention––such as a baby or a firstborn––was more inclined to follow in their parent’s footsteps.

Some families don’t have a prevalent problem with attention or jealousy. In the Ehly family, their parents gave equal amounts of attention to their children, according to Rae. They are all so connected to each other, that it’s strange for Rae to go a mere four hours without talking to her parents.

“I’ve been blessed with a family who is really close,” said Rae. “I have parents who know each of us very personally.”

Birth order is different in every family, and its effects are different on different children’s personalities, but affects each and every person, subconsciously or otherwise. Birth order isn’t the only factor that shapes a personality, but it just may be the most important.