Staffer Ranks Best Super Bowl Commercials

How does the CBS get people to watch the Super Bowl, even if they don’t know the difference between a touchdown and first down? Commercials. Everyone knows that the Super Bowl is famous (and infamous) for the most entertaining and crazy commercials on television. After intense review, I have chosen the top eight commercials of Super Bowl XLVII.

8. In eighth place, we have the GoDaddy website creator. As usual, the GoDaddy commercial presents an attractive woman. They introduce her as the sexy side of their business, and a chubby nerd, who is the smart side. When the announcer says, “Together, they are perfect.” the worst happens. The GoDaddy slogan is presented on screen while the two have a close-up make out session. I’m not sure if the message in that commercial got across very well, but it was very memorable.

7.Seventh place goes to one of the Doritos commercials. It starts off with a Dorito-crunching man seeing a “GOAT 4 SALE” sign while walking down the street. Naturally, the goat is eating Doritos also. The man buys the goat shows him a giant cupboard filled with Doritos. Skipping into the future, it shows the goat devouring the bags until the man is driven insane by the incessant crunching. The goat goes into the cabinet, and finds it empty. Screaming an unearthly scream, he storms into his master’s bedroom to find him making a “GOAT 4 SALE” sign. The screen goes black except for the Doritos logo and the roar of the goat. Though entertaining and funny, this commercial doesn’t want me to eat the same food as a homicidal goat.

6. Though it took sixth place, the Budweiser commercial did not display its usual rash humor. The first part of the commercial shows a sentimental compilation of scenes of a man raising a handsome Clydesdale horse. One day the Budweiser truck comes along and takes the horse away. Three years later, the man reads that the Budweiser Clydesdales are coming to town, and he hops in his car. As they trot pass him, his horse doesn’t seem to notice him. Driving away, the man sees his horse galloping after him, and stops the car. He gets out of the car and embraces his horse. People liked this one especially because it isn’t action-packed or wildly bold, but touched the sentimental side of the viewers, even if they were Ray Lewis fans.

5. In fifth place there is the Audi “Bravery” commercial. An insecure teenage boy is preparing to go to prom alone, when his dad tosses him the keys to his Audi S6. They boy speeds off to school, parks in the “PRINCIPAL ONLY” space and dashes inside. He goes up to the prom queen and kisses her, only stopping to run away from her date. Then it shows him with a victorious grin on his face, along with a black eye. Audi did a great job displaying their intended “bravery” theme as well as demonstrating the perks of the car.

4. Fourth place goes to the E-trade baby. With witty comebacks and above-age behavior, the E-trade baby will make you laugh out loud. The baby is shown with a big stack of money that he saved from using E-trade. He says that instead of blowing it on insurance, there are better ways to do it… Exciting electronic music sparks up while pictures of him playing polo, riding a man in “The Running of the Bulls”, in a hot tub with a panda, and crashing a sailboat flash by. This is a quality commercial because it explains the benefits of the company while adding some memorable humor.

3. The bronze medal goes to Mercedes-Benz for their “Soul” commercial. A man in a diner looks in wonder at a billboard of the new Mercedes-Benz CLA. All of a sudden, a man in black is sitting across from him and offers him a deal for the car and everything that goes with it. The man is shown himself on a red carpet with supermodel Kate Upton, being a star dancer in a nightclub, driving into Las Vegas with a car full of women, and speeding down a racetrack. As he is about to sign, he looks at the billboard that now says “Starting at $29,900”. He returns the pen and walks away as the Devil poofs into a cloud of dust. This commercial is highlights the actual and supposed features of the car and is very entertaining, especially considering the Devil was Willem DeFoe.

2. The silver medal goes to the first ever Axe Super Bowl commercial. For their first try, they nailed it. A ripped lifeguard dives into the ocean, punches a shark, and saves the girl, like the usual Axe commercial. However, when they are about to kiss, she sees a full-suited astronaut walking down the beach. She lets go of the lifeguard and runs towards him as the slogan “Nothing beats an astronaut” appears on screen. They then advertise their new line of shampoo-deodorant-bodywash, Apollo. This commercial takes advantage of the element of surprise and makes you think “Only Axe would do this.”

1. Finally, the gold medal of Super Bowl XLVII goes to… Taco Bell! They succeeded in creating a massive commercial hit this year, well representing their new “Viva Young” theme. As a Spanish version of the popular “We Are Young” song plays, it shows a bunch of elderly men and women sneaking out of the old folks home after dark. After proceeding to do teenager-like things such as jumping into pools, going to clubs, and flashing restaurants, they end up at Taco Bell because, of course, it is open 24 hours. The commercial is an obvious favorite because it is unexpected, humorous, and edgy. If you weren’t entertained already, the old man pressing his nipple against the restaurant window will set you off. You spent your $3.8 million dollar commercial place well, Taco Bell.