It was the middle of the night, and Roy, a forty-five year old plumber, was suddenly wide awake. Unsure as to why he had been hastily awoken, he wiped his crusted eyes and approached the darkened room down the hall. As he entered the bathroom, he heard an unexpected “crunch,” followed by a gooey feeling between his toes. Roy’s eyes had not quite adjusted enough to identify what he had just stepped on, and he was honestly a bit too delirious to care. All he wanted was to return to bed and his dream about Denise, the forty-eight year old novelist that frequently haunted his imagination.
Walking into the small room and turning on the lights, Roy saw nothing at first other than a smoky, slightly precipitated haze. “This is odd,” he thought, but continued not to care. Fog in the bathroom didn’t seem that unordinary to Roy, for he had seen many unusual things in his customers’ bathrooms over the years. Next, he spotted a net hanging from the ceiling, crawling with large, green praying mantises and grass hoppers. “Gross,” he thought, squinting and rubbing his eyes. “When did that get there?”
Shortly after releasing the contents of his bladder, Roy began to notice spiders and mosquitoes of all colors and sizes inching up his legs, nibbling at his flesh and sucking his blood to fulfill their ravenous thirst. Not sure what to do to stop these menaces, Roy hopped into the bathtub to his right. Immediately after turning on the water, vines began to grow from the walls, transforming his bathroom into some sort of tropical forest. It began to rain. “Bloody hell!” he yelled, “How is this happening!?”
Then, oddly, it all disappeared. Roy decided that this must be a dream… then where was Denise? No longer concerned about the whole ordeal and growing annoyed that his fantasy had turned into a nightmare, he tried to wake himself up. After pinching himself, Roy realized that he was already awake. This wasn’t a dream after all. “Whatever,” Roy said aloud, as he trotted back to the comfort of his bed. “I’ll call a plumber tomorrow.”
Tea Party
Posted by Jordan Brown in Homegrown on January 22, 2010 12:26 pm / no comments
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