The Harbinger Online

Diary of a (Perfect) Future Lancer


I wake up at 8:45 a.m. sharp to a clear, pollution free sky. The chirping of birds and the hum of electric car engines eases me into my day. I arrive at school at precisely 9:00 a.m. I barely remember when we used to start our days as early as 7:40. It was scientifically proven that the brain isn’t fully awake and ready to learn until 9:00 a.m., so the schools were obligated to accommodate.

My classes have only ten students and are strategically divided to have one male and one female of every major ethnicity: caucasian, black, hispanic, asian, and middle-eastern. My first hour out of six core classes is history. Today, we are learning about historical figures that destroyed American democracy. I flip the page to find a picture of Donald Trump. He is described as “the Hitler of the 21st century”.

Lunch time rolls around, so I walk through the parking lot to my columbia blue smart car. Our schools model the French school system, where in the middle of the day each student has a two hour break to go home for lunch and catch up on studying.

When I return I head to the auditorium for a mandatory assembly. I sit in my assigned seat and listen as our only principal lectures us on safety protocol. I tune out his boring clatter and remember the oldest rumor Shawnee Mission East has to offer: that there used to be four principals, and some of them had so little to do that their sole priority was to detain kids who tried to leave for lunch. Bizarre!

The assembly ends and I walk back out to my car. The traffic in the parking lot is orderly and controlled. Even parents take turns with students, it’s spectacular.

I arrive at home and do my one hour of homework. Teachers have to collaborate to assign a maximum of one hour of work to decrease student stress levels and allow more time for students to develop healthy social lives. Teachers also have to allow an entire class period preceding a test for students to study and ask questions.

Then I head back up to East for cheer practice. The team is a decent blend of boys and girls, and the boys aren’t ridiculed for being cheerleaders. Oh, the strides we’ve made.

When I finish, I sit down for the dinner. My plate is perfectly calibrated with just the right amounts of protein, fruits, vegetables, dairy and grains.

That night, I fall asleep at precisely 11:00 p.m. only to wake up the next morning and repeat the cycle all over again.

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