Crushing Stereotypes

“OH MY GOD YOU ARE SO FIERCE!” “Like please can we go shopping together?” “Will you be my gay best friend!?”

No, I am not “fierce.” No we cannot go shopping together. And I especially don’t want to be your “gay best friend.” Being one of the only out gay kids at East, I get annoying stereotypical comments about my sexuality every day. They come off as completely harmless, but the stereotype that the words entail is truly destructive.

Even in 2014 there is still prejudice towards Lesbian Gay Bisexual Transgender (LGBT) people. The intolerance and confusion is heightened when you’re going to an almost completely heteronormal school in Kansas.

Many East students may think “Oh I’m not unaccepting, I don’t have anything against anyone.” That is great to hear and I am sure a lot of students aren’t purposely cruel, but that’s not the problem. The problem is that half the time students don’t understand that their actions and words are offensive.

For example, the girls saying those stereotypical lines to me piss me off. They don’t understand that gay people are not everything like they see in the typical TV shows and movies. I am not saying there aren’t gay people who meet the stereotypes, there is nothing wrong with that. You can be into football, or love shopping no matter your sexual preference. All effeminate boys are not gay, and not all masculine boys are straight. I’ve played football and danced and my sexuality didn’t tie into either of those things.

My friends tell me that they hear kids say they want to be my “gay best friend” or don’t want to be my friend just because I’m gay. That irks me. Why would my sexual preference define if I am a suitable friend or not? Being gay doesn’t give me any more advantages or disadvantages in the friendship world than anyone else. It doesn’t help determine whether or not I am a good person.

Another thing I see around school or in society in general is boys being scared to be friends with gay people just for their sexuality. I hope they understand that gay people are not attracted to every boy they meet, and are not going to come onto them. You don’t see every straight boy in the hall grabbing girls’ butts, so why are gay people suspected of it? Straight boys shouldn’t be living with the fear that gay men are going to treat them the way guys treat girls.

Young people in general need to understand before they go out into the real world — the world beyond Perfect Village — that people are not defined by their sexualities. We are all more than the stereotypes that come along with our sexual preferences. A lot of things make up and define a person, not just your ideas of them.

I have heard the excuse countless times, “People can’t help be scared of what they are not used to.” That is incorrect. They can change. It’s called actually getting out of their comfort zone and educating themselves, and it’s easier for them to change their behavior than it is for anyone to change their sexuality.

All I’m trying to get across with this is to have more faith in people. To look deeper in them, get to know them. Find out what food they like, what music they listen to and what their dreams are.  Know that that we as humans all have the capability to love so many different things, and we can not limit each other by the molds implanted in our minds.