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Blog: A Very Roller Derby Weekend

Last weekend a major roller derby tournament was held at the Municipal Auditorium in downtown KC. If you’re like me, you’ve been completely obsessed with roller derby since “Whip It” came out in 2009. (Not gonna lie, I most definitely got out my roller blades and skated around the neighborhood after the first time I watched it.) So when I found out that the Regional Female Roller Derby Tournament was taking place in KC I had to go.

The “Show Me Der-B-Q” roller derby tournament is one of four regional tournaments being held around the country and is a skate to-the-death brawl for a spot in the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) championship. I had heard before that the KC team, The Kansas City Roller Warriors, were good but I had no idea how awesome they were until I made my way to a match.

The first match I saw was the KC Roller Warriors vs. the Gold Coast Derby Girls and it was a slaughter; the Roller Warriors won in a landslide 274 to 36. Now, ever since I saw “Whip It” I’ve totally wanted to be a derby girl. I mean, I’m tough, I can skate and I can throw a punch or two. But I had no idea just how much skill this game takes. Two players in particular, Snot Rocket and Track Rat (another thing I love about roller derby is the names that these girls come up with), skated with such speed but were still able to practically jump over other skaters in order to score points.

During half-time I stayed busy by people watching. There were full-grown adults wearing tails, men in kilts and more neon colored extensions then I could count on two hands. Looking around the room, I was pretty confident that I was the only kid from East at the match.

At the second match my dad and I joked about the announcers, who spewed so many advertisements in the first half that she didn’t have to say any in the second, and stayed constantly at the edge of our seats as KC took on their long-time rival, Texas.

The derby battle was intense to say the least. Elbows and hips were used as weapons and the KC team was pushed to their limits against the defense heavy Texecutioners. Even though we ended up losing at 92 to 132, KC secured the second place spot and will go on to the championship with Texas.

Going to the derby was definitely an experience I’ll remember: from the sassy girl who pushed girls over with her hips and didn’t care that she got a foul to the hilarious derby names and my dad and I coming up with our own (I’m leaning heavily towards Lady MacDeath). The derby was something that most kids at East don’t do every day, and I was happy to be there supporting our home team.

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Zoe Brian

Zoe Brian is a senior in her seventh semester on the Harbinger and is the assistant editor of online. She can often be found reading, spending time with her dogs and listening to vinyl records. Her frequent haunts include the J-Room, book-stores, local theaters and Wayside Waifs, a local animal shelter. Read Full »

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